•Steven Seagal holding a weapon

Ever since we made that gallery of all of Steven Seagal’s posters and movie taglines, we’ve been trying to come up with the perfect graphic illustration of the archetypal Steven Seagal plot. For instance, we discovered that the perfect Seagal movie poster has:

• (usually a pistol) with a dumb look on his face
• Three-word title (Out for Justice, Marked for Death, Above the Law, etc.)
• Awesome tagline (“They started this… he’ll finish it.)
• Burning foreign city in the background

Reader Charlie recently emailed the frotcast after having put all of Steven Seagal’s movie titles into a word-cloud creator (you can see that below). I thought that was a great idea, so I extended it from just title to title, tagline, and synopsis. That’s the one above. There are a few glitches (don’t ask me why there are two “kills”, or why it counted “es” as a word), but I think it’s pretty clear that Steven Seagal likes to play an UNDERCOVER MILITARY AGENT named JOHN who likes to KILL CHINESE people.

As someone on Twitter points out: “This would make a great set of fridge magnets.”